[rpitts18]

I was born in Tupelo, MS on July 16, 1988. My biological father's identity is unknown. My brother, Andre, was born in January of 1990 and died in February of 1990 due to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). I lived my first 5 years in Tupelo before moving to Pontotoc, MS. I lived with my mom, brother (Tyler), godmother (Nana), and her 2 sons (Patrick and Scotty). Nana was my mom's best friend and roommate in college, so we became one big happy family that I thought would last forever. We lived in a subdivision called Green Valley. There was a church right up the road called Green Valley Baptist Church.

Well, first of all, let me tell you more about myself. I wasn't a problem child. I was just a kid doing what kids do. I hadn't been raised in church. Nobody in my family went to church. They weren't really against it, they just didn't go. A van always rode by every Wednesday and Sunday asking people if they would like a ride to church. Scotty and I decided to go one night, so we asked my mom and his mom. They said it was fine. We went and kept going ever since. My family started going then. Not long after, in 1999, my mom, nana, Scotty, and Patrick were saved and baptized at Green Valley Baptist.

April 4, 1999 is when I made my choice. I decided that I wanted to follow Jesus and give my life to him. I went up to my pastor (Bro. Eddie) and asked him what I had to do to be saved. He told me and I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior that day. The next week, I was baptized at Green Valley. Green Valley has always and will always be my home church unless God changes that. They have helped me through thick and thin and still continue to help me this very day. I love them very much.

If you're a Christian, you know that once you become His child that things don't get easier, they get harder. I have gone through hard times and good times. I am not perfect and neither is anyone else. Struggles are still present in my life today.

Well, in 2000, my mom got married to Phil (my step dad). The "family" we once had was gone. We moved out of the house in Green Valley. Me, Mom, Phil, and Tyler went to live at my grandma's house in Shannon. I switched from Pontotoc City schools to South Pontotoc. Nana, Scotty, and Patrick moved into an apartment where they still live to this day. I blamed Phil for coming into our lives and splitting up the family we had. I was so angry at him.

Well, I gave it a try. He was nice and everything for the first couple of months, but after that, it went downhill. I found out quickly that he had VERY BAD anger. And then, what got me angry the most was when he thought he could come up into our family and start telling us what to do when he didn't even know us! Me and my brother lived a very sheltered life. Whenever something was going on: church event, family event, b day party, etc... , we barely EVER got to go. There's another reason why we couldn't go anywhere, but I'll get to that in a minute...

I kept this anger bottled up inside, because I am a peaceful person. I don't like to cause riots/fights/arguments, etc... So I didn't say anything about it... Well, I did tell 1 woman at church... She had become like a second mom to me and Tyler (and still is). She knew everything that was going on at home. Whenever we needed to vent and talk to someone, she was there.

The other reason why we were ALWAYS cooped up in the house...On top of chores, we were like babysitters for our little bro. (Dakota - 5) and sis. (Kayla - 4)... Tyler babysat Kayla and I babysat Dakota... well, of course, we had to take them outside to play, change their diapers, take them for a nap, feed them, bathe them, and everything else... I felt like they made us grow up too fast... we couldn't enjoy our youth... I felt like I was a father rather than a brother... That's what I did all through most of my high school years...

Here is an example of Phil's anger...me and Tyler were sitting on the couch waiting for a woman from church to come pick us up... Mom and Phil tell us they want to go grocery shopping... I told mom that when they left, we needed to call the church woman and tell her that we weren't coming... Mom got upset and went to the bedroom.

I was standing there by the couch. Phil yells, "Well, CALL HER! I said, "Gah... I didn't mean right now... I said after y'all left." I said that because it surprised me that he got mad at me. He picked up an epoxied hard helmet and chunked it at me as hard as he could... I backed up real quick and it flew right by my face, fell to the floor, and SHATTERED... that's how hard he threw it... and then he gets up in my face, spitting and stuff, yelling and cussing me out... I was VERY ANGRY... needless to say, I was GROUNDED from church... just for that incident where nothing wrong was done...

Well, one day, they told me and Tyler that they want to move BACK up to MICHIGAN... we lived there in my sophomore year of high school... They gave us a choice though... Tyler could move in with his biological dad and I was given the choice of living with my aunt and uncle... Tyler decided to live with his dad...

My decision was already made in my head, but not in my heart... Over those years of practically raising my little brother, I didn't want to leave him... I didn't want to leave mom and Kayla either... and as much as I didn't like Phil, I didn't want to leave behind the family... and plus, I knew NO ONE in Michigan... NO ONE... They were asking me to move to MICHIGAN in my JUNIOR year of high school... after we had moved so many times already... I chose to stay and live with my aunt and uncle.

Phil and mom planned on staying the night at my aunt and uncle's house the night before they flew to Michigan... they did come, but they didn't stay... they left early... and before they left, they told Dakota to give me a hug because he probably wouldn't see me in a very long time... he came over and gave me a GIANT hug and told me he loved me and he was going to miss me... I am not even going to lie to you... I cried... then, my mom gave me a hug and told me she was going to miss me and that she loved me... and Kayla and Phil also gave me a hug... They left...

I had lived with my aunt and uncle for almost a year... they started using me as their little slave to do stuff for them... and they were the messiest folks I have ever had to clean up after... you just don't know... well, my grandmother calls and tells them that they need to slacken up on my "chores" and stuff... my aunt has always been nice to me and everything... she knew how it was at home... that's why I can't believe she did what she did to me... she got mad at me and told me that if I wanted to tell people "our" business that went on in the house, that I could pack my bags and hit the road... and that she wasn't going to drive me.. I mean, she had the most hate I have ever seen her have towards anyone... She told me that she really wished somebody else would hurry up and takes me because she didn't want me at her house no more... It really hurt me... Bad...

I went to church the next morning... after service Mrs. Kathy and George (from church) were giving me a ride back home... I was being quiet thinking of the stuff at home... Kathy knew something was wrong with me... she said, "Roderick, what's wrong with you?" I told her everything and she said that she wasn't fixing to sit there and let me be treated like that... she told George to STOP the car right in the road... she told me to give her my mom's phone number so she could talk to her... I did... they talked and were still talking when George dropped me off...

Next morning, my mom called me and told me to pack all my stuff... I said, "WHAT?!"... She told me that I was moving in with my godmother (Nana) who I still live with today... I packed my bags and my pastor came by and helped me move as well as the West Constable... (He went to our church)... I moved in with my godmother and everything was great...

May 17, 2006... Day before graduation... My mom had told me on the internet that she bought a ticket to come down and see my graduation... I was so happy that I was going to get to see her! So me and my grandmother went to the airport to pick mom up... I went in the lobby and saw her standing there with KAYLA! She told me that they had allowed her to come along... I didn't think anything about it... And then, I saw Phil walking towards us with DAKOTA!! I started crying... Dakota came up and gave me a big hug and told me that he missed me and that he wished I would go back home with him... it turned out that the whole thing was a graduation present for me... It was the best graduation gift that I had received! EVERYBODY knew about it but me... haha... we spent the night in a hotel room... spent some time together, which I enjoyed...

May 18, 2006... Graduation day... I had to be at graduation rehearsal that morning, so I had to get up and go to that...then I came back, took a nap and got ready to go to graduation... Mom, Dakota, Kayla, Phil, and my grandma were there... it was a great surprise! After graduation was over, we went back to the hotel room and spent some more time together... the next morning was when they would leave to go back to Michigan... They stopped by my house to say goodbye... And, of course, you know what I did... I cried... Mom and Dakota gave me a big hug and told me that they loved me and missed me... same thing with Dakota... haven't seen them since... I talk to my mom about once or twice every month...

It just hurts me so much because now I don't get to see my brother grow up and go to kindergarten... to see him bring home his first sets of school work... to see him learning... I don't get to see him, PERIOD... and I don't know when the next time I'll ever be able to see them again... Maybe during the summer... 2 years from now... 10 years from now... who knows... and it just hurts me to think about it... what if something happens to them and I don't get to say goodbye or something... I just can't stand it...

August 2006... I had been so worried about getting a dorm room at ICC. See, I NEEDED a dorm room because I have no CAR. I had to be moved in by that Sunday afternoon and I called up there a couple days before and I was 11th on the waiting list (like I had been for a week). Well, I was talking to a friend about it on MSN and out of almost 2000 songs on my computer, WALK BY FAITH by Jeremy Camp starts playing randomly. And I was literally in tears.

That song came on and I was so blessed. I knew why I loved Jeremy Camp so much. God was telling me through this song, that even though I couldn't SEE what He was doing for me right then, I needed to WALK BY FAITH. That everything He does prepares HIS WILL for ME. Well, after I listened to that song OVER and OVER again, I thought, "Maybe God is testing my Faith like he tested Abraham's."

I called ICC the Friday before move-in day... I was 10th... Still up there... I was at work that day... Well, about 7:30 that night, my grandmother came to Fred's and said that ICC called and I HAD A ROOM! I WAS SO BLESSED! GOD WAITED TILL THE LAST MINUTE TO TEST MY FAITH. AND IT WORKED. I WAITED ON HIM AND HE BLESSED ME!

And now, it brings me to my college years at ICC... Life is great... I still struggle... but I have grown so much in my faith and I have been blessed with so many great Christian friends who help me and build me up... I went to college thinking it would be the most miserable time of my life, and it turned out that I'm having the BEST TIME of my life...

And the thing is I don't dislike anyone that I mentioned above... I love them all dearly... I don't hold grudges against any of them... Like I said, I have grown A LOT in my faith and Christian walk... I was so ANGRY at Phil back then... but I learned that God sent him to help... No longer am I mad at him, I love him... I still visit my aunt and uncle to this day. I understand that it was a big misunderstanding and that they didn't mean what they said... And I love my mom. She thinks that she was a bad mother, but she wasn't (and isn't). She's always raised me at how she thought I should be raised. I love her to death. I can't wait till the day that I get to see them again.

Everything that happened through my life happened for a reason... God was (and still is) preparing me for what He has in store for me... I have learned that God has put me through those situations to strengthen and prepare me for what lies ahead... THANK YOU JESUS. I love You with all my heart and soul. You are MORE than ENOUGH for me!