[BeanPole20]

Okay here it goes..

I'm 14 and have grown up in a Christian home all my life. I've never really had family problems, just the same old sibling?s fighting and sometimes parents, but nothing out of the ordinary. I lived a simple life, up until junior high.
In the 7th grade I realized that junior high was different, you weren't so protected. I also noticed in this grade that my brother's were having troubles. One was getting out of a bad relationship. The other got into drugs. He happened to be my role model during this time, too. I AM NOT blaming him. He had a heavy impact on my outlooks in life and my choices. They were my choices, but because I saw and heard of what my brother's were doing I took that into consideration while making them!
In my summer going to 8th grade I noticed the choices I was making were taking effect! AND more situations with my brothers. One of my brothers?s got a DUI and after that he and a friend rolled a truck. Luckily, he wasn't hurt, just some bad bruises and bumps. When school actually started I grew close to the wrong people. I ended up with the "wrong crowd." Then parent problems started. I fought with my mom the most. They never knew the whole time what I was doing, yet I convinced them that they could trust me.
At the age of 13 I had my first drink? at school! Soon it escaladed to 2 and then 3 until finally I would find a way to have it everyday that I could. Then the worst came, I took speed from a friend in one of my classes. It was the scariest day of my life. I felt too energetic and became light-headed. After it was all over I never wanted to do it again, I was filled with fear. As this wave of terror came over me, I also noticed that I didn?t get caught. The school couldn?t find out and they wouldn?t. I thought that I was invincible now. ?I can never get caught at school,? was my only thought. I hung out with wrong people more and more. It just kept getting worse. These so-called-friends were disappearing. They slowly started to get caught and suspended, some of the things they were doing I was involved in, too. The friends and people I was actually close to and that really loved and cared about me were getting mad. They started to not even want to be around me. I was in and out of trouble. I was depressed and just chasing the things that I thought could satisfy me, but they didn?t, in fact I felt emptier than ever. My parents never knew. I kept everything from them.

The summer going into 9th grade was the worst. I kept doing the things that made me feel guilty, but it wasn?t enough to make me stop.
This whole time I attended New. Life and told myself and others that I was a devoted Christian, but I wasn?t living it. I hadn?t changed me heart. When summer came I wasn?t drinking because there was nowhere for me to get, but I still wanted it.. While attending the church we heard announcements about the upcoming camp Glorious Days. At first I didn't want to go. I told my mom and she thought it might be good for me. With everything going on it was exactly what I needed, though at the time I didn?t think so. I went expecting to have mean girls not include me or make no friends like some other Christian camps I had gone to before. It was totally opposite. I immediately met new people and made friends. At camp I found what I had been looking for, God?s destiny for my life. He began to change my heart and I stopped chasing the things that I thought were making me happier.

At camp I stepped into God?s life and began living for him. Stephanie Tell was my leader. She has helped me so much! After coming back from camp I was baptized by Olivia that following Sunday at the Silverdale Waterfront Park on August 12, 2007. My whole family started the notice the change and they supported me by watching the baptism.
This year I started school happy. But then became aware that this environment that is supposed to be safe had already brought me close to people and things that threatened my life before. I became scared of disappointing everyone, including myself and God that I was going to get into drinking and maybe even drugs? AGAIN.
I was asked the first day of school to skip and drink.
I turned it down knowing that God was smiling down on me. And even though I was proud of myself and proud that I have the strength of God within me I was still scared and stressed.
I got so stressed that I became physically sick. I was scared that I would fail and stop living the life God had planned. The medication the doctor gave me didn?t even work, nothing worked. I begged my mom to pull me out of public school and do an Off-Campus program. Finally, it happened! I got into this great program where I?m still learning, but the pressures of failing are gone. I know that I?m living the destiny of God?s plan. I can now say that I truly am on the mission with Jesus and he is constantly showing me the light and love of him. There is one verse that I learned at camp that sums up what I feel now. 2nd Corinthians 5:17, ?For if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come.?

I have come so far in just 3 years..and i thank God everyday that i could be so young and learn to love him now rather than later!!