[Conqueror Worm]

lo...

My names Conqueror Worm...

And I'm an alcoholic...

Amongst other things...

I've never attended an AA meeting...

Though I know it has helped loads of people...

When I was at my worst...

The only time I wasn't drinking is when I was at work and/or school...

And I'm talking about good old fashioned hard drinking...

I didn't go to sleep at night...

I passed out...

The one and most important thing (even before turning to Christ... )

That I learned to exercise...

Was control...

When I came off...

I locked myself in my house for a week...

Avoided phone calls...

i.e. detoxed...

I'm not sure if you are at that point of addiction yet...

But I'll offer you some advice...

Exercise control...

If I have a drink now...

And I still do...

I place myself in an environment where I cannot overindulge...

Occasionally I will have someone invite me to a party or something...

And I go over the limit...

I drink more in social settings than I do when I am by myself...

Or with someone else...

I know this about myself...

When I initially quit...

And went cold turkey...

I stayed away from alcohol period...

Stayed away from peeps that I drank with on a regular basis because they were not inclined to quit...

Stopped partying... etc...

It took me some time to get to where I am now...

I usually have a beer when I get home from work in the evening...

I do not keep it in my house...

I pick it up at the shop on the way home...

I have that one...

I relax...

Shower...

Wind down...

And I'm good...

I know that it is not realistic for me to abstain from alcohol the rest of my life...

But I also know what happens to me when I cross a certain threshold...

From what you have said...

I would recommend you stay away from it period...

That means not going to places where you know it will be available...

Not hanging out with certain peeps (and believe me... you will have "friends" that just do not understand your decision to quit...")

But the fact that drinking is having negative repercussions on your life...

And the fact that you are stressing yourself out and worrying about what drinking is doing to you...

Is a big red flag that you need to lay off the drink...

The more you keep indulging in this behaviour and drinking...

It turns into a cycle of sorts...

And it is a very hard cycle to break...

Stop now...

Get your head together...

Learn from your mistakes...

And move on...

Your whole life will be filled with lessons learned from past experiences...

What you do with what you learn is up to you...