Daily struggles

[silentpoet]

What is your biggest day to day struggle with being single? How is God helping you in this area? What progress are you making? Or what would it take for you to see progress in this struggle?

[flnativegrl]

I've been thinking about this one. My only real struggle with singleness is believing that there is a guy out there that wants an "instant family" since I have two young boys.

I keep the faith by reminding myself that the "right" man would not only be OK with the fact that I have kids, but he would want to be a part of their lives (emotionally and as a role model/authority figure). I would rather remain single than subject my boys to someone that would not be willing to fill the role in a positive, healthy way.

[Singing4myLord]

I think my biggest struggle is giving my singleness over to the Lord and let him take care of it.

[silentpoet]

Originally Posted by flnativegrl

I've been thinking about this one. My only real struggle with singleness is believing that there is a guy out there that wants an "instant family" since I have two young boys.

I keep the faith by reminding myself that the "right" man would not only be OK with the fact that I have kids, but he would want to be a part of their lives (emotionally and as a role model/authority figure). I would rather remain single than subject my boys to someone that would not be willing to fill the role in a positive, healthy way.

For the right girl it wouldn't be an issue, for the wrong one it wouldn't help. What I am saying is that I once(2-4 times) dated a woman who had a couple of kids. The kids were not an issue, it is just that I felt no attraction to her. She was attracted to me and liked me, but I didn't feel any chemistry. But if had been attracted to her, the 2 girls would not have been a deal breaker.

I think I could be a good instant father for the right woman and her kids. I actually think I might be a better father than husband. Or at least I am more ready for that particular responsibility. I don't particularly like or dis-like kids as a group, I consider them individually and see how I feel about them same as I do with adults. I do care about children, but I don't view them as cult objects like some people do.

But there is only about one woman in all the world I would willingly go into such a situation with/for. I don't know if I would have to, but it is very possible.

[silentpoet]

As for my struggles with being single there are two issues that kind of go together. The two issues are unbelief and lust/sexual temptation. I am only a man with the God given urges natural to a man. I need sex, but as a single Christian I have no outlet for this need. There is no Godly way to express or satisfy this aspect of myself.

In not satisfying that need I am denying myself. I think that is an act of worship. But I feel like a fool when it feels like I am the only person left trying to save something for marriage. I see all these people out there in the world having sex and I am honestly jealous.

Now the unbelief grows out of the need for a woman. And I mean on more than a sexual level. I am talking about the deep needs seated at the center of my heart. On Feb 10 or 12, 2005 I was lead by a spirit of prayer to pray very particular prayers in this area. I prayed as I fell asleep and as I woke up. I prayed approximately every 5 minutes that day or even more often than that. And these were prayers prayed with faith. I was very excited and hopeful. But since then things have not gotten better that I can see. I don't really have much evidence that God is answering those prayers.

Now there are some things like the house I am getting and my jobs that I have been blessed with. Those might be preparation for God to bless me and answer those prayers, but they are not direct evidence of those prayers being answered. So it is a struggle for me to hold onto the promise inherit in that day of prayer.

In part I went looking for the house out of response to how I felt God leading me. It was what I could do to be ready for a wife. It was my part of the task or bargain or whatever you want to call it. And I think God indicated to me tonight that my struggles with temptation and holding on as much as I can to the promises of God are also my part in all this. So maybe my struggles in all this are the key to God's opening up the flood gates of blessing.

[Songz777]

Yes its hard brov .. but the best is worth wating for. I some times struggle at the end of the day when I am tired with emotional pain, but I come and cry and worship God and get healed

[Songz777]

Originally Posted by flnativegrl

I've been thinking about this one. My only real struggle with singleness is believing that there is a guy out there that wants an "instant family" since I have two young boys.

I keep the faith by reminding myself that the "right" man would not only be OK with the fact that I have kids, but he would want to be a part of their lives (emotionally and as a role model/authority figure). I would rather remain single than subject my boys to someone that would not be willing to fill the role in a positive, healthy way.

Hey dont
worry about that there are guys who are willing to have an instant family. I have said to the Lord i would be willing here to marry someoen with children already, so do not give in

[Conqueror Worm]

Originally Posted by silentpoet

What is your biggest day to day struggle with being single? How is God helping you in this area? What progress are you making? Or what would it take for you to see progress in this struggle?

Not having someone to share my life with...

And vice versa...

I have my friends of course...

But I mean share my life on a level that can only be attained in an intimate relationship with someone you love...

This is my fault...

So I just deal with it...

I could find someone...

But I have reservations just jumping into another relationship at present...

Due to the fact that my priorities have changed since turning to Christ...

i.e. I want to involve myself to someone who is a believer...

This has changed my whole potential relationship dynamic...

And a lot of it has to do with the fact that due to some of the self-destructive behaviours I was engaged in my last relationship...

I treated my last gf rather poorly...

(would like to add...

When I say treated her rather poorly...

I don't mean I beat her or anything like that...

I just neglected her feelings...

And I know she loved me...

But due to circumstances at the time...

I just not could reciprocate that love to her...

I wouldn't spend time with her when she wanted me to...

If we had a day that we could be together...

And the subject came up of us spending time together...

I was out the door and the down the road drinking with my mates...

And I know that it hurt it her...

And it was a direct result of decisions I had made...

And the way I was living... )

There are a lot of factors...

I am just going to keep asking God to lead me to right woman...

And her to me...

That is all I know to do atm...

[DJ Divinorum]

Originally Posted by silentpoet

What is your biggest day to day struggle with being single? How is God helping you in this area? What progress are you making? Or what would it take for you to see progress in this struggle?

Biggest Struggle? Haven't had one, honestly I like being single. It gives me a good chance to explore my mind, figure things out, and spiritually enhance myself.

No comment on the God thing, sorry it just isn't within my jurisdiction to speak about God.

Progress? Well I'm very happy being alone.

And if I really did want a significant other I would have to find myself an older girl, because the ones my age are very confused, do not know what they want, and are usually a bit stuck-up which is not my type of woman.

[oncewaslost]

i've struggled with envy in the past. mostly when everyone i know is dating and i'm stuck by myself. it totally stinks. but, i'm getting used to it. finding contentment with my singleness... besides, i have more fun than most of my non-single friends. i can do what i want, when i want.