Dating

[Thunder Ring]

I have always wondered what diffrent people thought about dating, and the whole process. So now I ask: Why date? Why does someone, why do you date? And how do you turn someone down when they ask you out but you really don't want to?

[snappingturtle]

Turn someone down, but you don't want to? HUH? Do you want to go out with them? Or don't you?

[Thunder Ring]

Don't. You don't want to go out with them, but you don't want to hurt them either. Sorry for not explaining that better, I'm kind of out of it.

[Sealed]

a gentle forthright statement should work nicely. i've dealt with the opposite and that's not fun. being left hanging is not very kind. it's a tough spot to be in i'm sure. but i picture Christ being loving but direct if He were to have to handle something like that.

[Annie]

before i say anything i'm not getting into a debate about dating versus courting. both are exactly what the individuals and individual couples make it to be. both can be extremely Godly and both can be extremely reckless.
okay now on to the actual post

why date? depends entirely on your motives. Why i'm dating my bf is to see if he will be the one i wind up spending the rest of my life with.

how to let someone down without hurting them in any way? I have no clue I've had to do it before and i hated it because they were extremely nice guys and i didn't want to hurt them for anything but ultimately its kinder to just be honest with them because yeah they may be a little hurt and disappointed if you turn them down right upfront but leading them on will only hurt more in the end.

[Thunder Ring]

i, unfortantaly, have had to turn a guy down before and while we are still friends, good friends actually, that had more to do with the excuess i used and the fact that he ended up with a girlfriend a few months latter...the funny part is both of them are friends of mine, and i didn't know she was intrested in him when he asked me.
any way, my parents taught me that the only reason to date was to find your life mate, and unless you where ready to get married you didn't need to be dating. i still agree.

[oncewaslost]

i don't believe in pointless dating. if i know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we have completely opposite world views/have nothing in common/etc. i won't commit to a relationship. i've gone on one pointless date and that's because i didn't have enough guts to spurn him in front of everyone. i left 30 minutes before i was supposed to meet him and spent that time trying to convince myself to get out of the car.

how do you let someone down without hurting their feelings? umm... to my knowledge there's no way to do that. just respect them and their feelings as you tell them no.

[DJ Divinorum]

Originally Posted by Thunder Ring

I have always wondered what diffrent people thought about dating, and the whole process. So now I ask: Why date? Why does someone, why do you date? And how do you turn someone down when they ask you out but you really don't want to?

Why Date?: Who knows, I don't normally go out on dates unless if I take a special interest in someone.

Why do people date?: Co dependence, possibly for selfish or greedy reasons normally.

Why do I date?: I don't normally, but I'm always looking for a commitfull relationship, though with woman at my age that's abnormal and never really happens.

How do I turn them down?: I just say I'm not interested, simple as that.

[dancingwithangels]

I learned as you did, Thunder Ring, that dating is when you're ready to find someone to spend your life with. I also completely agree with them. I haven't had anyone ask me out, so I wouldn't know how to turn them down, but basically I would kindly tell them that you're not interested or not ready for a serious relationship right now. that's just my opinion

[archetype]

ultimately, to discover your life partner. "discover" being the key word. maybe you'll actually meet that special someone while dating. or...maybe you'll go on enough dates to make you realize that the person that is right for you...has been there all along....and you just havent noticed