do you believe there is "someone" out there?

blessed and forgiven · #71 (**permalink**) 08-15-2008, 04:13 PM

Annie and silentpoet
Thanks so much for your support. We can all use all the prayers we can get. I think he's having a mid-life crisis, I wish he'd just bought a sports car

silentpoet · #72 (**permalink**) 08-19-2008, 11:54 AM

I have probably said this before, but it is getting harder and harder to believe God is faithful in this area. Not much convinces me I will ever be blessed.

blessed and forgiven · #73 (**permalink**) 08-22-2008, 03:30 PM

God may be working on you to get you to the place He wants you to be. I always think of my step-mother. She married the love of her life at 45. If she'd settled for less earlier, she'd have been married but not as happily.
And remember, no marriage is much preferable to an unhappy marriage.

NeverAlone · #74 (**permalink**) 08-22-2008, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blessed and forgiven

And remember, no marriage is much preferable to an unhappy marriage.

AMEN! My sister is just now figuring this out. She is in a failed marriage with a man she still loves but having a hard time moving on. I keep telling her that she's better of single than with a man who is emotionally abusive to her!

silentpoet · #75 (**permalink**) 08-23-2008, 07:19 AM

It may be better to be single than in an awful marriage, but I know the pain of being single. I can't really say anything is worse than this feeling. Doubt, pain, despair are all I get from being single.

I do deny myself, but I am getting tired of doing God's will. Like I said to another person it is like working for a boss who does not really give a wage but promises a great retirement. I guess the only thing that keeps me serving God is grace. Because my will is not in it. I am really tired of waiting and doing my best to do God's will when my heart is so malnourished. This is at the heart of all my doubts about God. But I will serve him as long as I am able.

blessed and forgiven · #76 (**permalink**) 08-24-2008, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silentpoet

It may be better to be single than in an awful marriage, but I know the pain of being single. I can't really say anything is worse than this feeling. Doubt, pain, despair are all I get from being single.

I do deny myself, but I am getting tired of doing God's will. Like I said to another person it is like working for a boss who does not really give a wage but promises a great retirement. I guess the only thing that keeps me serving God is grace. Because my will is not in it. I am really tired of waiting and doing my best to do God's will when my heart is so malnourished. This is at the heart of all my doubts about God. But I will serve him as long as I am able.

Doubt, pain and despair won't be eliminated by marriage.

Your heart can be nourished by the love you get from and give to shelter animals, babies that have been abandoned at hospitals that only need someone to rock and cuddle them. You can volunteer at the local food kitchen, they will love you just for showing up. Become more active in your church. Your heart can be nourished by friends. God's blessings don't show up on our schedule and we don't always recognize them when they do. Hang in there my friend.

silentpoet · #77 (**permalink**) 08-24-2008, 08:56 PM

I know marriage will not solve all of my problems or assure a life free from trouble, but it will make life worth living. It will assure me that God hears and answers prayers. Because that is really in question in my heart. It is hard for me to feel much trust for God. Trust has to be visibly earned and I have not seen enough to convince me God is worthy of my trust. I suppose in some ways I trust God with my actions and denial of self, but not so much in my heart. God coming through in this area would mean more to me than all the jewels and gold in the world. I have put my trust in Him and so far I have only been let down.

I guess the best way I can describe helping and encouraging others and what it does for me is with an analogy. I am given a pitcher to pour out hope and encouragement to others, not a cup to drink from for myself. I can speak the words God gives me for others with power and passion, but there is little to reach my own heart. By no means is faith my spiritual gift. Service and encouragement are more in line with my gifts.

What good I do for others is, to my heart, only a duty. If I did not try to help and encourage others I would be shirking my job. I do care about others and want to see them blessed, but when I do good for them it does not mean much to my heart because I am only being myself. What I am saying is that there is no special reward except the satisfaction of having done my job well. That is no small thing, but it is more of a head thing than a heart thing.

blessed and forgiven · #78 (**permalink**) 08-25-2008, 02:53 PM

Silentpoet,

God does hear and answer prayers. Sometimes He says wait; other times He says no, still other times He says yes. Please know that He is preparing something for you. God alone knows what, in His perfect timing it will be made clear to you. If He doesn't give you what you want, when you want it, doesn't mean He doesn't love you or can't be trusted. It only means we can't see what His will is for us or what He has planned. You must put Him first and keep Him first in your life; He deserves and desires that spot. After that you have to wait for Him to make it clear; understanding that you may not find the reason for this time of waiting this side of heaven. God is preparing you for His work, and sometimes your desires won't be fulfilled the way you want them to because if He did give you what you wanted, it wouldn't be good for you. Sometimes your desires will be fulfilled exactly the way you want them to be after you wait and become ready for who or whatever He is sending your way. Fast and pray and He may let you know what He has planned. Remember also that sometimes prayer changes the pray-er.

silentpoet · #79 (**permalink**) 08-30-2008, 10:58 AM

Thank you even if I don't agree with everything you have said. This whole issue cuts me right to the core sometimes. It is hard to hold onto faith against the weight of so much evidence. The only positive thing I have in this area is God's promise. But like I said, so much in this aspect of my life speaks against God being faithful to His word.

It is like I have one soldier to fight an entire army. At the moment I am winning the battle and God is encouraging me. I am growing weary of the battle, though. I know overall that there is very little I can do myself. I know it is in God's hands, that is the part that makes me uncomfortable.

I am just trying to be honest about my doubts and struggles. In many other areas I could have extrordinary faith. But this area is key. I am just hoping that the encouragement I have been getting lately from God is a sign that I don't have a long time left to wait.

~linil~ · #80 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 01:21 AM

You're like an echo, Silentpoet. You speak out what my heart and mind speak out every day. It sucks that you have to feel the way you do, towards your situation and towards God, but at the same time, it's a bit relieving that I'm not the only one who feels that way. I'm like that alot too. Sometimes I don't even mind the wait as much as I mind God being so silent on the matter. It's like God, I'll be happy to wait for your timing, but in the meantime, can't I please be comforted by the fact that You won't forget about me? I know good and well what the Word says about God being faithful and the like, but geeze, is it ever so hard to believe when things don't seem to work like you want them to.

Bleh. Just gotta keep bein' strong I guess. No matter how much the whole idea makes us wanna go: