Here comes the bride... *sings*

[This_Beautiful_Faith]

Being the girls that we are, most of us are good at dreaming up the husband we want in future or at least some of the qualities we'd like him to have. My question is, what kind of wife would you like to see yourself being to the man that you end up marrying? It is all well and good to have some idea of what we're looking for in a man and husband, but it is equally important (if not more) to think about becoming the godly wives God would want us to become for marriage. Think about it and feel free to share with the rest of us what you come up with.

[This_Beautiful_Faith]

I'll go first. Please don't think your posts have to be as long or thought-out as mine. I kind of got on a roll.

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Firstly, I am realizing the importance of being built up and strong in the Lord as an individual before committing to another person. It is my personal belief that for a marriage to be built on the foundation of Jesus, Christ-centred and Christ-focused, (which I believe it should be) both individuals need to have their own personal and healthy relationship with God. So first of all, I want to be WHOLE-heartedly devoted to God, in deep relationship with Him. I want to be satisfied in God to begin with and I want Jesus to be my foundation. I want to be firmly built up in Him.

Genesis talks about women being the helpers of men. I?m not sure about you girls but I know for sure that God has certainly placed the desire in me to be a helper of a man of God?s choice for me. I WANT to be an encourager and cheer him on in this race. I WANT to build him up and speak words of life and faith into his life and heart. I want my devotion to God to be a great example and encouragement for his own walk with the Lord. I want to follow in the example of Jesus and be Christ-like in general but especially towards my husband and at all times. (I?m not saying that will come easy, nor do I believe it will but I?m willing to do what it takes.) This means putting into practice walking as Jesus did and being Christ-like NOW ? which I should be doing anyway.

We?re taught that men are the [spiritual?] heads of the homes. If my husband is going to be the leader and head of our family, I want to make sure that he is fit for the task and that may just be where I (his ?helper?) come into it . I want to support him and hold him up there (again, the whole building up and encouraging thing). I?m not saying that I must or plan on keeping quiet, waiting on my husband hand and foot in submission for the rest of my life but I do want to be humble and respectful of my husband?s leadership. I?m going to help him to be the best godly head and leader of our home possible, and I am going to have faith in his leadership. The last thing I want to do is discourage and tear him down from being the head of our home by making him feel like he is failing our family/failing to be a godly man. Something like pride and disobedience on my part could cause this if I allowed room for it, for example. This only adds to the list of reasons of why I want to be sure that I am living in the Spirit and working in partnership WITH my husband at all times, not against him and acting out on the flesh (e.g. acting out on my emotions, anger, pride, and tearing him down with hurtful words etc).

Going into the whole submission thing a bit more? as I said, I have no intention of being the doormat wife who stays quiet and does nothing but wait on her husband hand and foot because it is expected of her or because she feels like she must. However, that doesn?t mean that I don?t have every intention to spoil my husband anyway because I WANT to and because I LOVE him and desire to show this to him in the big and little ways. For example: I would DELIGHT in making delicious meals for my husband every chance I get - especially if I am home from work before him and he is coming back from a long hard day at work. I would DELIGHT in going out of my way to surprise him here and there (again, in the little and big ways). I would delight in being affectionate towards him. Heck, I?m only 18 years old and thinking ahead into all of this just makes me want to learn how to cook *well* NOW as well as learning something like how to give amazing massages (for example). I would be SO willing to take up classes in this (even now) just for him and the times in future that he may come home from nasty days at work or complaining of pain? or, you know, just because it?s just one little way in which I would want to spoil him. I have such a desire to take care of my husband and family, and love them, not just with words but in my actions. I want to SHOW him and my children that I love them.

I have every desire to be faithful to my husband ? not just sexually but mentally and emotionally too. If I commit to a man in marriage, HE is the ONE man I want to be intimate with romantically, sexually, emotionally and spiritually. In marriage, if I entertain thoughts in my mind of any man, HE is going to be that man and all of the time. I realize that this probably means that it is important that I keep my thoughts in check NOW when it comes to guys. If I?m not able to take captive and shut down or send away certain thoughts of other guys now, what guarantee is there that I will easily be able to do so in marriage even though I will have a husband? There is no guarantee. This is just one of many things I see the need to put into practise now before I get anywhere near marrying a man.

I want to be a wife that listens and is sensitive to her husband?s feelings. In summary, I want to be a godly, encouraging, faithful, understanding, compassionate, merciful and forgiving, kind, giving and humble wife. This does not mean that I won?t speak up, and be bold and strong for my marriage and family when necessary. I just don?t ever want to do it out of pride, selfishness, anger or hurt feelings and any other time I am not doing so in love and in the Spirit.

I?m sure I could probably find something else to add, but wow, I got on a roll and really need to stop!

[This_Beautiful_Faith]

Haha, okay, forgive me but I did think of some other things to add.

1. I suppose I just want to be a pure woman in the eyes of God and my husband all around.

2. Before I marry, I want to be *free*. I don't want to walk down the isle and then after the wedding be like, 'oh by the way, here hunny. I have all of this emotional baggage that I've lugged around all of these years and never managed to shake off and leave behind. I hope you're in for one crazy ride.' and then offer him a broken and messed up heart along with piles of trash. I want to rid of as much baggage as I can so that come my wedding day, I have a whole and restored heart to offer my new husband.

[Annie]

excellent thread! its great to see there are girls thinking about how to prepare themselves for that Godly man they want to end up with

i was actually talking with one of my good friends from this site the other day about this subject and he brought up a very good point. So many guys look at Proverbs 31 for the ideal wife they'd like to end up with but it never seems to come up: what are those guys doing to make themselves worthy of being with such a woman? The question is just as valid for girls. We all want to end up with an amazingly Godly guy but what are we doing to make ourselves worthy of being with such a man? If we're not working towards being the Godly loving women we're supposed to be we really can't expect we'll attract a God fearing man.

Its something i have to work on myself. I want to be a Godly wife who is able to help build her husband up in Christ. i do fully plan on being a submissive wife not, as you put it so well, a doormat who has no mind or voice of her own but a wife that recognizes her husband's place as the head of the household and doesn't hold that against him. I firmly believe as the wife i would have my role to play in the marriage and he would have his and i would seek to take my own role with love. I look forward to taking care of my house and raising my kids to be God fearing and discerning people as well.

i could add more but i'm braindead right now so i'll have to come back to this thread

[This_Beautiful_Faith]

Annie, that definitely is a great point and yes, it is definitely as valid for girls as it is for guys. Thank you for sharing it!

[Kitangel]

Well, spiritually? Faithfulness, love, and a relationship built on Christ is very important. Marriage is a gift from God, and a means of Grace.... If you don't know the Declaration of Purpose, read out at weddings, then look it up. I strongly believe in that.

In a day to day life, supporting my hubby, and having him support me, is a fundamental necessity. With each others enouragement and support (and goodness knows I need it to do some of the housework lying around!) we can achieve our daily goals that would otherwise have been harder, if not impossible, to see through.

Love is a VERY major thing. Without love, you have nothing. The relationship would not last long enough to sneeze on.

Um, there's alot more to say. Basically, I support my husband, but we are EQUALS. I don't do the "women are second" thing.

[This_Beautiful_Faith]

Haha... it's kind of funny that I wrote all of that when I am now actually wondering if God might have a life of singleness mapped out for me.

[Y'sSwimmin'Girl]

I want to be there for him whenever he needs me. Like when he's had a bad day, and he just needs to talk about it and be comforted or encouraged. I want to be gentle, and understanding, but also standing my ground if he tries to be stupid about something.