My simple story

[bellaandpjforever]

This is not an amazing out even close to finish testomoy(sp) but for some reason I feel like sharing. I'm only a 16 year old girl so in the future I will form a new one but this is mine for now.

I grew up in a non-christian family with two older brothers, although my family was not christian my father still took me and my brothers to church until I was about 7 ot 8. I soon learnt this was just to give mum a break from us, so a lot of what I had learnt I didn't believe. Some what because my parents didn't believe it and also because of the reason I was been taken there. Church for me was a place I got taken to give mum a break.

During this time of course I was attending school where is was considered the school reject, the only thing that keep me going was the fact I loved to learn anything new. School satisfied this longing to learn everthing I could. I was bullied everyday, teachers were told but nothing was ever done. I only ever told my parents once what was going on and they acted like they didn't care. By the end of school, what I had been told for 8 years at school is what I believe. I believe that I was a piece of junk that was never going to make anything of my life. In the last few years of my primary years I got sexuality abused by my oldest brother many times, he was all ways around. I lived in constant fear of him. I never told my parents and now 8 years later I won't be telling my parents. For it would shatter their world, I have come to forgive him for what he did. I know he had a lot of problems growing up, but he has changed now. I now accept him for what he has become, not what he did to me in the past.

High school was not much different except for two things. I found people that accepted me and they soon became and still are some of my closest friends. The other things was my brother started to go to youth group and to his dissapointment I followed. School was going well, life was going well, I was happy. Or thats what I thought. Then when I was 15 I went on a christian camp, christian camps were nothing strange to me, I had gone on them for a long time and most of the time been a trouble maker on them. There was something different at that camp, the people there had something I didn't. By the middle , I wanted it too. One afternoon we were told we had free time, but if any of us wanted to talk there was going to be leaders hanging out at the boat shed for us to talk to. I don't know what made me go to the boat shed but I did. I talked to a leader and by the end of it I had accepted Jesus, things felt great.

Little did I know it would be only a few months later that I would go through one of my hardest times ever. I started to try and work out the stuff I carried on from my primary school, while at home I was getting very argumentive with my parents. This is where I made a very silly mistake and got involved with cuting my self. I won't go into why I was but I did, later that year my mate found out and she got me into some help. Things were looking up again, I had many things to work out but with a lot of help, I was working them out. Then another very rough patch hit, my Grandfather who was someone I looked up to died, I was finding school hard and even failing one of my subjects. By Febuary I had had enough, I was not going to continue like this. I coulldn't see anyway out except for taking my life, so thats what I tried to do. I OD'ed myself,I text I couple of people saying I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't going to be at youth that night. My BF who I had met at church decided to come over and keep me company, he found me and got me to Hospital. I survived with no after effects, if I had not been found it would of ended up in a coma. I can only say this was God, he lead me to the person who would eventually save me. God also gave my BF the desire to come straight over and not come over later that night when it would of been too late.

Now 6 months after that things are still bad and I still get reminded about that day regularly, but when I remember I'm not ashamed, I remember as a second chance that I got given by God to live my life to the fullest. I got reminded the hard way that no matter how bad it seems, if it seems like no one cares and the world would be better of without you. There are always people who do care, people who would miss you if you left this world.

We will all go through storms in life, some storms will nearly destroy us, others will just shake us up a bit. No matter how big the storm, we can overcome it. Maybe not on our own, but we don't just have our strength to rely on. We have the strength of an awesome God, we have the strength of those around us. No one should go through life's stroms alone.

Some of you know that right now I'm facing a big strom of doubt where I have gone of the path a long way. But I know through the reminders that have come my way over the last few days through people who have no idea that I was having any sort of trouble, this storm of doubt will not beat me. It is simply a season that will work through, with the help of others but a storm that will not beat me.

To finish I would like to qoute lyrics of one of my favourite songs Never Alone by Barlow Girl. "And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone"

We are never alone in this world we all have someone by our sides the whole time, his name is Jesus for he will never forsake us.

God Bless Ya
Nat

[cas07]

God bless you, Nat, for sharing your heart. you have been through so much, and have come out through the other side a stronger young woman, with a faith that many could only hope to have. we share similar experiences in growing up (with your brother) and i so completely understand why you will never share that with your parents - i made that same decision a number of years ago, and have not regretted it. i also understand the cutting, i don't cut but i do piercings and tats partly for the same reason. my hubby cuts as well, so i am very familiar with all that.
you are on the right path - the Lord will never leave you nor forsake you, no matter what. never lose sight of that, and you will be just fine.

[RestoreTheRiver]

Nat,

My heart goes out to you for all that you've been through. You mentioned getting help at crucial points in your life. Do you have such help now? I'd encourage you to find a qualified, supervised counselor, so that you have ongoing support, and so that you can continue to work through all that's happened to you.

To use the Exodus as an anology (I believe the event itself happened. Given that, I'm taking that real event as an analogy of how God works in our lives today) sometimes, God brings people "out of Egypt", and they take the "air route" to the promised land. Others walk there, but do so on a straightforward, deliberate path. Still others take the "wilderness route."

The point is, God is with the people in all three groups. I don't know why our journey "out of Egypt" happens so differently. I just know that it does, and that God is very much in control, very much with, very much totally embracing and loving, everyone who's on the journey; no matter what route they're on.

You seem to be a "through the wilderness" person, as I am. God will see you through!

Michael

[Annie]

very beautiful to hear how God can work in a person's life. thanks so much for sharing

[bellaandpjforever]

Originally Posted by RestoreTheRiver

Nat,

My heart goes out to you for all that you've been through. You mentioned getting help at crucial points in your life. Do you have such help now? I'd encourage you to find a qualified, supervised counselor, so that you have ongoing support, and so that you can continue to work through all that's happened to you.

Yeah I'm seeing my school counselor although many people say that I should have more than that, my parents tried that and it didn't work. My school counselor is someone who I trust and that trust was built up over a long period of time. I don't se him regularly because I'm in my second to last year of high school and I can't aford to miss many classes but instead I see him when I need to, or if my friends think I need to. Two of my mates have become very intuned to me and they can tell when something is bothering me without me even saying a word to them.

Thankyou for all the replies.
God Bless Ya
Nat

[ThenThereWasRED]

Nate You are NOT junk. :no: God doesn't make any mistakes but people do with their words and actions. You have overcomed a lot and still have more to overcome. Satan uses people to take us down with their words and actions.

God made you fearfully & wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14 :yes: I claim that verse when Satan comes after me and tries to steal my self-worth. God will give you the strength to get through this. Scripture tells us to run the race and don't give up and we will win.

"And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Hebrews 12: 1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.