My testimony

[Ali]

Religion has always been prominent in my life, mostly due to the influences of my family. We moved to Texas when I was about 2 years old and almost right away found a small church that rapidly became like a family to us. Every Sunday I would slump against my mother's side, not really paying attention to anything in the church except the pretty patterns the incense made in the sunlight.
It's actually sort of funny what made me want to let Jesus into my soul. I was probably about 4 and I saw a verrry scary episode of the Simpsons. At least I thought it was insanely frightening. Homer Simpson sold his soul to Satan for a donut. The thought of that episode lurked in my mind. I was afraid I would accidentally let Satan take over! I went into our backyard and climbed way up in a tree, looked up, and yelled, "Jesus, I want to sell my soul to you so the Devil can't get me!" I sat in the tree, hoping something would happen, but nothing did (at least, not that was noticeable to me). My mom finally came out to find me and asked what I was doing. When I told her that Jesus hadn't taken my soul to Heaven like I had hoped, she helped me down and said that was because Jesus was very nice and wanted me to keep living my life for him, and didn't want to take me from my family yet. It was an answer that I was satisfied enough with, but still throughout my childhood I wanted more reassurance that he really knew I loved him.
I started Sunday School at church, and remember learning about the sacraments: baptism, reconciliation, communion, confirmation, marriage/holy orders, and annointing of the sick. I decided that maybe since I had been too young to remember my baptism, something would change in me when I made my first communion. Well, nothing did, because I was too young to realize that I had to make the change and the decision for myself. Jesus was not going to force himself into me.
I continued going to church every Sunday, but was never truly inspired to pay attention, which was a shame. Until one week, the priest said that to open our hearts to the Lord, we first had to open our minds to Him, and perhaps realize that he's been there all along. I was then 13, and the next year I made my confirmation. My twin brother wiped the oil off his forehead as soon as we sat back down, but I wanted to keep it there. I was overjoyed. I had made the decision to get confirmed because I truly wanted to, and it felt like whatever had been eclipsing the glory of Christ had been moved out of the way because it seemed stronger and brighter than ever. I've become more involved in the church because not only do I get to help others, I'm helping myself stay close to God. And He, in turn, helps me in all my efforts and enriches my life in His own small and mysterious ways.
I no longer believe simply because it was what I had been taught as a child. God gave me the grace to see things through my own point of view and use my free will to accept Him. I don't think I've done anything else in my life, ever, that still makes me as happy as my confirmation and accepting of my religion does. Now I get up on Sunday mornings really looking forward to mass, and let the Bible's teachings influence my life. I'm still learning about God, and about myself and the world, but I know that ONE thing in life is certain, and that's God's limitless love, and it's the best thing in the world a person can be aware of.

[mbgb]

Wow! What a great testimony! Thanks for sharing. May God continue to bless you and your loved ones.