Self Pleasure

TrinityLives · #1 (**permalink**) 11-11-2007, 07:54 PM

HI all

My oldest step-daughter came to me with this issue. Self pleasure in a sexual way. It seems a neighbor/ friend of hers who is not a believer ( though my oldest is not giving up on her haha) is engaging in this. She is also engaging with other girls ( the neighbor not my child).
Anyhow my oldest posed the question " What does the bible say about masturbation?"

This is where I would like your input. I am not sure where scripture actually mentions that per se but I felt that is was more of the mindset one is in when doing that. It is sinful for us to lust and to lust for others so this leads me to think that when one is in the moment of self pleasure of course they are fantasizing which in itself would be sinful.
( This girl is texting her BF and doing it as well = sin)

I kinda explained it as when your thirsty you drink water you are giving your body a need it wants but when you are self pleasing to satisfy a need your in a fantasy mode of what you want done to yourself or what you would do to someone else... I may be totally wrong here....

SO any ideas here? Any scripture on this that you know of?
I kinda scanned for it last night but thought it would be interesting to bring to the forum as well.....

HELP...

I do praise God that my oldest feels so comfortable to talk to me about these things and is looking to the Bible for such answers. I just feel so inadequate at times because Its so important and I don't want to get this wrong ya know!

Thank you all

:pray:

silentpoet · #2 (**permalink**) 11-12-2007, 08:50 PM

The bible actually says nothing about masturbation. It does talk about lust. There are those who use the example of Onan to condemn masturbation, but his sin was that he did not fulfill his obligations. He spilled his seed on the ground as a form of birth control. Lusting after another person is a sin. You have to focus on the fantasy aspect of it. The verses where Jesus talks about looking at a woman with lust in your heart comes to mind.

I wish I had more advice for the parenting part of it. But I am not a parent so I have no experience. One word of comfort is that when we pray for guidance, we are guided to the right words. I pray for you to be guided to the right words.

RestoreTheRiver · #3 (**permalink**) 11-12-2007, 11:54 PM

TrinityLives,

I believe you have an excellent grasp of the issues involved. Also, it is obvious that you have a great relationship with your daughter. Continue allowing God to speak in and through your life and your words, and treasure the open and honest relationship you have with your daughter.

May God continue to bless you, and give you wisdom.

Michael

romanseight2005 · #4 (**permalink**) 11-18-2007, 07:00 PM

The thing about participating with other females definitely falls into the category of sexual immorality. I think that rather than focusing on what condemns masturbating, it would be better to focus on what God's intention for sex is. Find the verse that talk about the unity of married persons. People have this idea that sex is something that is one's own, or something to be experienced at all levels of ones post adolescent life. The reality is that one's spouse owns the other spouse's body. If you really think about that, would it be right to use something that is going to be owned by someone else? I know that sounds strange, but I can't impress upon this enough that God's view of sexuality is that it be wonderful and sacred. But it must be preservered for what it was designed for.

under His wings · #5 (**permalink**) 11-18-2007, 10:18 PM

Great answers already. I also believe that instant gratification harms the marriage bed. If one has been involved in this before marriage would they be able to stop during marriage? If they don't, it could harm the marriage. One spouse being satisfied (not the way God designed) and the other going without. God designed sex to be between a man and his wife, not bf and gf, not man or woman alone. Also, the obvious answer of one person lusting after someone who may not be their spouse, they would be committing adultery.

ThenThereWasRED · #6 (**permalink**) 11-18-2007, 10:46 PM

I've read different views on this from Christians. Some say the Bible isn't clear enough about it while others say it does & it's a sin since you are essentially having *sex with yourself*=masturbation. I've read some people say that it doesn't effect them or they can *self pleasure* without thinking about another person, while others say that's impossible.
IMO it should be avoided. If a person is looking for sexual gratification, it's too easy to go farther in other ways looking for it besides masturbation. Like anything else we have temptations and we have to ask God for help in avoiding them and finding other things to fill up the desires and time.

milosmommy · #7 (**permalink**) Yesterday, 04:06 PM

Our bodies are temples to God, one way to help your daughter understand that Masterbation is wrong is to explain this concept to her. God lives in us and when we do things like self-gratification we are desicrating his holy temple. Our bodies should be protected until we give them to our spouses in marriage.

When we have the Holy Spirit in our hearts it also makes self-pleasure difficult because our hearts know it's wrong.

Biblically based it says our body's are the Lord's temple (1 Corinthians 6:19), & Self-gratification with other people (orgie) is covered as is sexual immorality AND sensuality in (Romans 13:13).