Things that make you go..."hhmmm"

Theofilus · #11 (**permalink**) 08-24-2007, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Is this a trend? Is this yet another sign of Christian value being eroded from the sanctity of marriage?

Whether or not it's a trend, it has nothing to do with Christian values or the sanctity of marriage. Family names (where everyone in the family has the same name, as opposed to patronyms where everyone is named after their fathers) were nearly unknown except for royalty until the 10th century. Were there no Christian values before that? Was the sanctity of marriage invented only about a thousand years ago? Of course not. Women taking their husband's name is a relatively recent custom which actually originated not with Christians, but among pagan royalty. The sanctity of marrage goes back to Adam and Eve. The two have nothing to do with each other and this recent change trend is nothing to be worried about.

HappyPrime · #12 (**permalink**) 08-24-2007, 08:23 PM

Marriage isn't about two halves making a whole. It's two wholes making something entirely new. IMO, it would be best to have an entirely NEW family name for both the husband and wife--one that hasn't been carried down through the ages.

Theofilus · #13 (**permalink**) 08-24-2007, 08:46 PM

Do you have any idea what a mess that would create for genealogists? :confused:

HappyPrime · #14 (**permalink**) 08-24-2007, 10:14 PM

To make it easier on genealogists, perhaps we should keep ALL our family names. Given name: first, middle, family...then, when married, take on a fourth name. In fact that might make it even easier than the current system.

Joseph Edward Smith marries Jane Elisabeth King. They choose a family name O'Neal. They become Joseph Edward Smith O'Neal and Jane Elisabeth King O'Neal. Their children might be John Joseph O'Neal and Katherine Jane O'Neal.

Just thinking outloud...

BeautifulChange · #15 (**permalink**) 08-25-2007, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyPrime

To make it easier on genealogists, perhaps we should keep ALL our family names. Given name: first, middle, family...then, when married, take on a fourth name. In fact that might make it even easier than the current system.

Joseph Edward Smith marries Jane Elisabeth King. They choose a family name O'Neal. They become Joseph Edward Smith O'Neal and Jane Elisabeth King O'Neal. Their children might be John Joseph O'Neal and Katherine Jane O'Neal.

Just thinking outloud...

exactly what i prefer. best method ever.

edb19 · #16 (**permalink**) 08-25-2007, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeautifulChange

i guess i am the only one that opposes a name change, in here. I love my name. My mom gave me her last name and i plan on keeping it. I don't mind hyphenation in the future. But i definitely rather have no name changes.

I took my husband's name but have maintained my own also (as have my sisters and daughter-in-law). No hyphen, I simply use both names.

For me it was being partially being proud of the name I grew up with - and partially the fact that I have no brothers. My family name ends with my generation.

If I'd been smarter I'd have given my maiden name to both of my children - that would have insured it for at least one more generation.

Harpsong · #17 (**permalink**) 09-09-2007, 03:06 AM

I have a unique situation that I was previously married; no children and divorced after 7 years to a man whose first name is the same as my current husband and whose last name has the same number of letters, syllables and ends with the same 3 letters...Upon marriage to my current husband he told me upon looking at the divorce papers "I would understand if you would rather not change your name right away..." I thought that was very thoughtful of him. He was taken aback by the similarity of the last names...I have said that when I asked God if I was to marry my first husband, that God did not mumble but I was not hearing Him very clearly... :no:

Well, my h has had an issue with my "individuality" by hyphenating my name, some people think that my maiden name is actually my middle name...but I have the only natural born grandson out of my two other siblings and myself. My sister has a daughter and my brother adopted 3 boys and a girl. I also am known by many people as by my maiden name and wanted to keep it in my name...this has been an issue with my dh and I have been sorely accused of "trying to stay an individual" and he has been seemingly displeased with my keeping my name hyphenated and has asked me to change it to "his" name. I truly believe that "the two shall become one flesh" I see very little correspondence with becoming one flesh and taking my husband's name or hyphenating it. It is a matter of heart to submit and a matter of the "letter" and family values to hyphenate my name. There is more to my story but that is enough for now...

I enjoy the conversation...blessings to you all...

Harpsong · #18 (**permalink**) 09-09-2007, 03:08 AM

Hi edb19;
I am a buckeye too!:yes:

s4bush · #19 (**permalink**) 01-20-2008, 09:42 PM

I was honored to take my husband's name. Leave your parents and cleave to your husband. I agree with lin1235, we get our parents name b/c we were born into their family, but when we enter that covenant of marriage, we belong to our husband, so why not take his name? We, as a family, hold our last name in high respects. If a wife doesn't want to give up her name after marriage, what else will she refuse to give up? I don't agree with separate "money accounts" either, unless there's money issues, but why would you want to marry into that anyway? I am a firm believer that God brings two people together, so their lives are one as well as all these other things.

kissingfish · #20 (**permalink**) 01-21-2008, 03:28 AM

I'm not going to weigh in on this...because honestly I'm not sure where I stand. I will say though I had a friend whose father hyphenated HIS last name (her mother hyphenated hers as well) so BOTH spouses had BOTH last names. I thought that was kind of romantic AND talk about two becoming one.