Check-In 2

[cory]

kim,
i hope you will not leave us yes we have been together for some time and at the point you joined us it seemed we were about finnished. you have helped to revitalize this group and remind us why we came here in the first place. You are no longer an outsider but you are one of us now. please know that there may be bad manners here and we may be insensitve but there is not evil or malicious intent. We really do need you here to help our mix.

Pep, I am glad no one will ever shut you up. obviously you clearly saw what some of us overlooked. Perhaps because I know Pete realy has a heart of gold and does not intend offence he just sees things his way and sometimes forgets there can be valid differing oppinion.
cory

[Pete56]

Kim you stay, I have obviously outstayed my welcome here.

I apologise for causing you any distress or for making 'subtle and upsetting comments'. It was not my intention and I clearly allowed my own prejudice to colour my comments. I am sorry.

Pep, your comments hurt and I believe are unfair and unreasonable.

Cory, I agree this place was dying on its feet a few months ago and clearly I am in danger of causing a rift here.

It is best for me to be elsewhere.

I wish you all God's blessing and guidance.

I will not return, (this will be my last post) I just wanted to prevent anyone else feeling the need to leave for my sake.

[Gwenyfur]

Thread's Closed!

[intricatic]

Note from Staff:

Hey guys and gals -

I'm not going to delete any posts or edit any posts or anything like that, and I'll be reopening the thread shortly, I just wanted to reiterate that it's important to try to handle disputes peaceably, if at all possible. I don't like to see anyone feel like they have to leave over a dispute, especially when everyone involved generally gets along really well and enjoys talking to one another like you guys do. So I don't think it would be necessary to do any cleanups here as I know you tend to resolve disputes very quickly among yourselves, and I definitely appreciate that a lot. I just thought I'd clarify what's going on.

Anyhow, I'll be reopening the thread shortly, when I'm certain things are settled down a bit (don't want things to pick up where they left off here, after all).

If any of you need to talk to someone about anything, feel free to PM me. I'm here to help.

God bless!

[intricatic]

Thread's been re-opened...

Sorry about the delay, we've had only a handfull of active staff the last week or so (mainly just myself) and it can be daunting to keep up with everything that's going on... Hope ya'all can forgive for that. I didn't mean to leave you hanging for so long.

[mbgb]

Originally Posted by seeker

i don't know how do you get this sort of thing balanced out. Do any of the other women struggle with their DH's scarier decisions (as in letting go and rolling with decisions that you Know are foolish) or just generally trusting the leadership position to DH when his own interests are his main concern.
Kim

Hi seeker. I am only on here sporatically now. I just wanted to let you know PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't leave this thread. As Christians, we must hold each other accountable for certain things, but we must also forgive one another.

On a different note. I quoted what you said in an earlier post. The problems I dealt with with my husband were resolved by me completely submerging myself in the Word of Christ. I, also, separated for 5 months. It was tough, but I understood that if I didn't, DH was never going to understand how serious I was about his mistreating of me. Before you start trying to understand why DH is making foolish decisions, and why you should submit to him, first ask yourself what you can do for God? Fall down, let yourself completely submit to Him first, and your husband will be no match. I promise you that. It may take a long time, but it will not take one milli-second longer than you can handle. When you can't handle it anymore, just call out to God, and tell Him where you're at, and your prayers will be answered ten-fold. You are asking all of the wrong questions. You need to get right with God. This marriage can be saved, and you BOTH can be happy.

Obviously, my marriage has its up and down days, but my life is 200% better than it was this time last year. Everything changed, all glory be to God. EVERYTHING changed, and I am light-hearted, in a healthy marriage, and God is ever so perfectly healing each little scar and scab that existed between me and DH. I can only speak for my time up until now, but you are seriously cutting yourself short by not giving God your all, and by not letting God be number 1 in your life. If you put Him as #1, everything else falls into place. My DH now sees how important church is to me. He doesn't go with me every Sunday, but he goes sometimes. WHAT A HUGE STEP! He used to never go. I have also been blessed with a wonderful Sunday School class who support me and my marriage. All I did was keep praying and keep praying and keep praying. In the meantime, I have gained my best friend back, God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I have the most valuable thing on Earth, and it is my relationship with them. I can't tell you how my life has changed, just by continued prayer. And not only that, but not TAKING "IT" anymore. And I did it all in a way that has glorified God's name. I didn't divorce my husband, but I set up boundaries. I soaked myself in God's Word. I had no hope. NO hope. And all God asks us to do is try, He'll do the rest. I didn't know which way was up in my spiritual life, I was so far from God, but all I knew was that everything I believed as a child and in early adulthood was found in that book, the Bible. I read, and read, and read. Slowly, I saw changes in my life. Changes that weren't of my own making, but of God having such great mercy on me. He can do that for you, Seeker. You have to start praying.

[Jenniewren]

Hello everyone. I am busy praying for the UY group that we will be able continue to pray for each other and our partners and to support each other. Love to everyone xx

[cory]

MBGB,
That is a wonderful story I am so glad things are turning around for you. I have had some of the same expiriences although in completely different ways. But I have had those frantic prayers of "God, fix it or let me out I can not take anymore." at those times things either got better or He gave me more streangth.now things are better than ever. DW abandoned the wiccan garbage and is seriously looking at Christianity.It is not a complete work yet but it is sooo much better.Some of it is what God has done with her but much is what he has done with me.before I had no clue that I was codependant on dw's insanity and was actually pushing her over the edge when she started to get better. I did not know how to not be the victem. Through my accountabillity group God showed that to me and has helped me change.

Jennie keep praying we need each other here.
as to the rest of you, come out come out where ever you are. We need all of you back.
Cory

[mbgb]

Cory,
I totally agree with you. By turning everything over to God, He truly works within "us", not so much our spouses. I mean, who really knows what He's doing with our spouses, but He's concerned with OUR relationship with Him, that's why He's talking to US. How can we cast a stone with that giant splinter in our own eye?

Thanks to everyone for the prayers! Jenni! I got your message on Facebook, sorry I am here and there and everywhere right now. I am doing fine. Just busy with school as usual.

Thanks Cory for the kind words about my post. It isn't me though, all glory be to God.

I guess I sort of came on here for selfish reasons too. Mainly to vent. I have this old friend who I've mentioned before. She's my "best bud" since we were 10. But of course now we're completely different people. However, she's not exactly a Christ-following Christian and last I heard isn't really sure she believes. So, as you can imagine, we pretty much live in two different worlds. Anyway, she's friends with these girls we both went to college with. They are weird. I mean, I guess I may not have normally chosen them, but because I was always so dependent on my "best bud" I tried to be their friends. (this may sound really lame for you guys...the girls will probably understand). Anyway, so they seem to be pretty self-involved. I guess they always were or maybe they have gotten worse. Anyway, I'm sure I was very self-involved back in college, and didn't realize how anyone was. ANYHOO, so now I'm really getting on track with God. (great!) I know they are all always searching and seeking. Going out every night of the week. Or trying to be "cool". I hope this doesn't sound bitter. I'm really not. I'm actually so BORED with it all. With the fronts they put on. Basically they are all on my MySpace/Facebook, and that's about the only contact I have with them ever. I haven't heard from any of them in over a year. I just emailed two of them the other day just seeing how they were doing. They never emailed me back. I just don't get them. I am hurt, but I don't know why I have to vent like this. I'd like to just tel them. I tried to tel my long time best bud a few months ago how I was upset she always hangs out with them and not even she calls me. She just got mad at me and told me I didn't need to make her feel bad for having other friends. (WHAT?!?)

Anyway, so I have come to the conclusion of a few things. My sister has validated what I originally thought, as she told me they were "toxic"...and that she didn't particularly care for them either. Another thing is that they are just all very very immature! Am I right? Or not? I guess I just always put so much stock in my other friends. Now I have this relationship with Christ, and I see clearly how awesomely He has worked in my marriage, which is slowly turning into one that dreams are made of (give or take a few bad days here and there of course). My dream job is just within reach, I love my student teaching! Things are going well. And these girls who I used to put so much stock in haven't even congratulated me, or even asked how I was freakin' doing!? What is up with that? They are just rotten friends. That is what's up. And immature, and yes, toxic for me.

OK vent is over. GIRLS, if you have any female advice, please advise! Or boys, if you are not totally girled out, please advise.

love to you all and God bless!

[cory]

sometimes we outgrow relationships sometimes it is a romance that fails sometimes it is a freindship. mourn it as such and move on. maybe at some time they will mature and find Christ and grow but for now don't waste your life worrying about people whom you don't even like. Funny how so often it is the people we like least the ones that constantly hurt us that we most try to seek aproval from.seek God's aproval first then who cares what the rest of the world thinks. In jr hi I had a freind "Kevin" one day I decided that I liked Kevin but all his freinds were jerks and lowlifes. so what did that make me? I withdrew from that freindship and saw the others mess up their lives, jail, drugs,dropouts etc. I know I got out just in time. I guess what I am saying is to choose your freinds well. The Bible states this over and over. Pray for those girls leave the door open to them if you can without dragging yourself down.one day you may be used by God in their lives. but do not let them drag you down if you can't releace only partially let them go altogether.
I hope that helps and is not too much of a guy "mr fixit" responce.
Cory